Panic Switch
by Bubblesaren'tfun
Summary: Reality has caught up with Brendan Brady after the discovery of Danny's body in the pond. As more enemies make themselves known, Ste, Cheryl, and anyone else Brendan cares for are put in danger.
1. Chapter 1

Panic Switch

_ 'Brady better not be dead,' Warren chimes sipping a beer in Chez Chez._

_ Brendan rolls his eyes and notices that the North wall leads into Ste and Amy's flat. He wonders when that occurred. Brendan tries to move forward but the flat seems to be drifting farther and farther away. _

_ Warren laughs nervously beside him and hands him a gun._

_ 'Safe keeping foxie?' Brendan quips taking the gun. Finally he reaches the flat, but his feet feel bare on the carpeted floor. He turns his head and sees Ste holding his shoes wearing a grey dress suit. _

_ 'Why so dapper?' Brendan asks. _

_ Ste smiles, 'for you innit?' _

_ A man Brendan doesn't recognize appears behind Ste and holds up the gun. His heart suddenly drops in his chest but he can't move fast enough. There is a loud bang and Ste begins to shout words Brendan cannot hear. Watching in horror the bullet pierces Stephen through the abdomen. As he tries to run towards him vines shoot up through the ground and twist themselves around his waist. _

'_No!' Brendan screams trying to break himself free. He can hear the bomb still ticking in the background. His body slumps forward the vines wrapping themselves tighter. _

_ Stephen looks back at him with betrayed eyes slowly glazing over by death. Brendan shakes his head at Stephen wanting to tell him he was sorry. To tell him he never meant for this to happen, to meet him, to abuse him, as the beeping becomes louder in his ears the vines cut into his body sharply. _

_ Suddenly Warren appears holding the bomb. He looks down at Brendan and frowns. _

_ Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

Brendan groaned. His head felt like drawer full of spoons being hankered open and closed. A soft sound beeped beside him and the smell of fresh chemicals wafted into his nostrils that felt plugged with something else. "Where am I?" He thought. The room was dark and silent as he opened his eyes. As he became more awake, he became aware of the pain that coursed through his body.

He noticed the slits of light appearing through a window opposite him and the silhouette of body. He stared ahead trying not to feel afraid but a slow realization began to dawn on him. He was in the hospital.

Stephen stared through the blinds. Brendan had not been out for too long, a day at most. The doctor had assured them he would make a full recovery despite Cheryl's hysterical crying that he would not. Ste knew he had suffered a concussion, deep bruising, and ironically a broken rib.

The initial scene was far worse. Warren's shouting and blood everywhere. A broken, lifeless mess Brendan was lying in the alleyway. Even after the ambulance drove him away to the hospital Ste could still hear the siren vibrating through him. The loud shrill sound as he changed out of his bloody clothes and into sweats. Such a piercing sound that haunted him even now with Brendan looking at a full recovery.

Cheryl appeared beside him with a blank, makeup-less expression. She held a tea that had gone cold long ago in her hands and a weakened demeanor.

'He's going to be ok,' Ste said patting her arm.

She turned her head and gave him a small smile.

'It's Brendan after all.'

'I know dear,' she said quietly, 'I just… I have never seen him like this.'

Ste nodded. A man always in control, always one step ahead of everyone else was now sitting this one out. Ste desperately wanted to see him, touch him, and let him know he was here even if Brendan would never admit that's what he wanted. The doctor however insisted he be left alone till he woke.

'Do you want another tea?' Ste asked.

Cheryl shrugged her shoulders but Ste took that as a yes. He guided Cheryl to the seats across from the window and sat her down.

'I'll be back,' he said and then went in search for the cafeteria. Ste remembered the last time he had been here watching another friend recover from death. The fear had not worn off from that fateful morning when he found out Amy might die. The same moment he finally believed that Brendan might indeed be in possession of a heart. Ste stopped and reached out for the wall. Numbness had taken over him for the last twenty-four hours. A numbness that had helped him be brave for Cheryl when Warren couldn't be. A numbness that was managing to run his life even though he didn't want to had suddenly dissipated.

A cold terror ran down his spine at what was to come. The cryptic parting words with Warren after the ambulance took Brendan away shot to the front of his mind.

_ Warren analyzed the bloodstains on his sweater as the ambulance drove away. Ste had never seen him looking so frightened by what they both witnessed. _

_ 'This ain't no random attack.'_

_ 'What?' Ste asked attempting to control his shaking._

_ 'You know what I mean,' he spat, 'this is Brendan Brady. Random assault? No. You should know better than anyone.'_

Ste tried not to think what Warren said could be true. But he did know that Brendan had more enemies than friends. Taking a deep breath of air he moved away from the wall. He had to be strong for Cheryl.

'Ste,' a voice called behind him.

Ste turned around and saw Pete wheeling himself towards him.

'Pete,' Ste greeted.

'I heard about Brendan,' he began his face as pale as Cheryl's, 'is he ok?'

Ste cursed as his eyes stung with tears. Brendan was ok. The doctor had said so and yet Ste couldn't stop the tears from sliding down his cheeks. He was sure Pete thought Brendan had died.

'No…' Ste shook his head wiping away the tears, 'he is fine, bruised, but fine.'

Pete patted his arm, 'always is.'

'I need to find the cafeteria,' Ste said, 'tea for Cheryl.'

'I'll come with you Ste. I could use a cup me self.'

It only took a few minutes to find the cafeteria. They grabbed their tea and headed back to the room in silence. Ste could tell Pete wanted to say something to him, to comfort him. But what was there to say? Every relationship Brendan had was burdened by lies and secrecy.

As they reached Brendan's room they noticed the door ajar and Cheryl nowhere to be found. Had she gone inside? Ste wondered. Pete wheeled forward motioning for Ste to stay quiet. Ste tensed as low voices could be heard from inside the room.

'Is it Cheryl?' Ste mouthed to Pete.

Pete nodded.

Suddenly the door swing inwards and a man no older than Brendan walked out. His dark hair was brushed to one side perfectly and he adorned an expensive looking suit.

'Who are you?' Pete asked. Ste noticed he was gripping his wheels so tightly that his knuckles had begun to turn white.

The man frowned at them, 'I'm Detective Byrne.'

Ste raised an eyebrow at Pete. Detective?

'I have taken over Mr. Brady's recovery from here on out,' he explained as Cheryl appeared behind him.

'He came from Dublin,' she said appearing relieved.

Ste noticed Pete's continuous look of disapproval at Detective Byrne and he could not help but feel uneasy around the man as well.

'Why?' Ste asked.

'Because of the seriousness of the assault,' he answers, 'Mr. Brady is very familiar in some circles.'

Ste looked at Cheryl who seemed unnerved by this comment. He did not get what Detective Byrne meant but it seemed as though he might be one of those "old friends" who always seem to bring trouble back from Brendan's past.

'Do you know Brendan?' Ste asked.

Detective Byrne nodded his head, 'we go way back.'

Ste narrowed his eyes. The question now was is he a Macca or a Danny Houston? Ste smiled though, he didn't want the man to think he was suspicious. If Detective Byrne had another agenda, Ste didn't want him thinking that it was in any danger of being figured out.

'I'm Ste, by the way,' Ste held out his hand. Detective Byrnes eyes flashed for a moment and took his hand.

'Pete,' Pete said afterwards and they shook hands as well, 'also an old friend of Brendan's.'

Detective Byrnes eyes lit up as if something delightful had amused him, 'Brendan used to rave about you Peter. So sorry to hear about that _nasty_ accident.'

Pete smiled tightly, 'yes. I'm sure you are.'

'I don't trust him,' Pete said to Ste in a low voice as Detective Byrne and Cheryl talked a few feet away. It had almost been two hours since he had arrived and Cheryl seemed smitten that he was going to solve the case right away.

'Why?'

'Burke? He knew Danny Houston as well.'

Ste's eyes widened, 'Danny Houston?'

'Yeah. I couldn't remember where I had heard that name before. Been thinking about it and then I realized… I had seen thier names a few times in the news paper.'

'News paper?'

'An friend of Brendan and me's… Vinnie, died in a car accident. Very suspicious at the time...'

'Yeah.'

'Well a detective on the case was named Anderson Byrne.'

'Detective Byrne?' Ste said fixating on him.

'Yeah spoke to the press and such. Well guess who Vinnie worked for before he died?'

Ste swallowed feeling his heart thundering in his chest, 'Danny Houston.'

'Right. Who only last week was thought to be alive.'

'And I found him in a pond.'

Pete licked his lips, 'yeah, murdered.'


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Ste opened Brendan's door and peered inside. There, across the room with a bandage wrapped around his head, and bruises marring his face laid his ex-boyfriend. Ste slipped inside closing the door gently hoping not to wake him. The room softly lit and the heart monitor beat in a steady rhythm.

Cheryl had stood guard for the last twenty-four hours questioning anyone who passed by Brendan's room as if she were a detective grilling a potential criminal. Pete had finally convinced her that rest was needed after she passed out against the wall, mouth agape.

Words jumbled inside Ste's mind as he tried to figure out what to say. There was so much he wanted to say to Brendan. To tell him that seeing him lying bloody and unconscious on the pavement had never scared him so much. That the realization that he might lose him was too much to bear and that he was forgiven for the past.

As tears slid down his cheeks he realized that he might not ever be able to forgive Brendan.

In the hospital bed, Brendan stirred becoming aware of another presence in the room. He lifted his head and gazed sleepily across the room at Stephen. The boy was much paler than he remembered. Bags had formed underneath his eyes and his hair was unwashed and unkempt.

'I thought you'd never come,' Brendan groaned attempting to sit up.

Ste quickly rushed over shaking his head, 'no lay down Brendan. Take it easy.'

Brendan nodded letting Ste fluff his pillows and prepare them for more support beneath his neck. Brendan felt his heart beat accelerate as the smell of Ste's cologne filled the air around him. Their bodies so close, and faces so near Brendan hardly felt like resisting the urge to grab hold and kiss him.

Ste turned his head and peered into Brendan's dark brown eyes. Their noses touched ever so gently before the sound of swoosh and suddenly Cheryl entered the room appearing with a face full of makeup. Her hair in perfect ringlets and an odd zebra print pair of leggings.

'BREN!' She squealed racing over, 'you're alive!'

Brendan rolled his eyes and turned to Stephen who was wiping at his eyes with the back of his sleeve.

'I'll give you some alone time,' he said walking to the door. I'll be back.'

Brendan watched him go feeling dissatisfied. Cheryl primped her hair and sat in Stephens vacant seat. She took his hand in hers and looked at him, the tears welling up in her eyes.

'I have so much to tell you.'

'DO NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO!'

Ste woke with a jolt. He had only closed his eyes a moment ago but lifting his head he saw Mitzee yelling at Brendan's doctor looking as though she had been through a violent windstorm. Her hands waved wildly in the air and she was stomping her stiletto heel on the ground as if she wanted to crack it in two.

'Mitzee?'

Her head whipped towards him and suddenly he felt scared.

'Ste!' She shrieked racing towards him, 'Where is Brendan? Is Brendan ok? They won't let me see him!'

'He's recovering,' Ste assured her but she still looked doubtful. He watched her look both ways down the hallway and then at him with a strange expression forming on her face.

'I have to tell ye something,' she whispered urgently. She pulled him from the seat and down the hall towards a vacant room. Once inside she turned to him, her face pale.

'What?'

'This came in the mail,' she said handing him an opened envelope. 'I have no idea… I was in London, no one told me,' she said beginning to cry.

Ste didn't know why, but he pulled her into a hug. It was as awkward as someone would believe yet at the same time, as comforting as a hug is.

'Where is Cheryl?' Mitzee asked being the first to pull away. She wiped beneath her eyes with the palm of her hand like a child.

'Cheryl? She is in there now.'

Mitzee nodded, 'I am surprised he hasn't asked for ye.'

Ste could feel himself blushing. 'We've talked. Mitzee, what is in this envelope?'

Mitzee looked frightened again, 'it's pictures.'

'What?' Ste opened the envelope and inside was a collection of photos: one of Mitzee at the Guy Candy event, one of Cheryl outside Subar opening the store, and one of himself holding Lucas walking through the skate park.

'I don't get it?'

Mitzee shook her head, 'Neither do I. Read the note.'

Ste opened the piece of paper that was folded after the last picture. The letters were typed neatly across the top of the page and Ste read them with a knot forming in the pit of his stomach.

Brendan sat up with a cup of tea in his hands as Cheryl stared at him looking like a ghost.

'You almost died.'

'I felt it,' Brendan said sipping the tea slowly.

'Do you remember anything?'

Brendan shook his head. His attacker had taken a crack at his head first, and after that it was anyone's guess. However, it did not leave his suspicion that it had something to do with Danny. Stephen had already told him good ol' Andy was back in town.

'He is from Dublin,' Cheryl told him excitedly when he mentioned Anderson.

It wasn't exciting though. Brendan knew Anderson was a crooked Detective. There were so many under the table dealings with Danny, and that shared knowledge of Brendan's sexuality. He closed his eyes and thought of Stephen. Did he have any idea how much danger he was in?

'When do I get out?'

Cheryl looked at him quizzically, 'out love?'

'Yeah.'

'They want to keep you here for a week at least. You suffered Bren.'

Brendan could feel his heart drop in his chest. Suddenly the door handle turned with a creak and Warren appeared under the frame. He looked tired as well, and older. That surprised Brendan.

'Warren!' Cheryl exclaimed.

'Hello,' he said to her with a tight smile. He turned to Brendan with a serious expression, 'I need a word with your brother.'

Cheryl nodded fidgeting with her sweater, 'of course ye can love. Thank you for coming.' She got up and kissed him on the cheek, as she did so, he closed his eyes and held her for a moment.

Brendan rolled his eyes.

After she left the room Warren closed the door and locked it again.

'Planning on finishing the job foxie?'

Warren attempted a smile, 'I didn't do this. Of course if I did, you'd be six feet under by now.'

Brendan chuckled.

'A coincidence?' Warren suggested staring at the heart monitor.

'Danny.'

'I got this today in the mail,' he said handing him an envelope. Brendan stared at Warren in confusion, 'open it.'

Brendan took the envelope and found inside held a picture of Theresa walking alone in her bright pink jacket. Taped to the picture was a note which Brendan opened and read aloud, 'Revenge is a six-letter word. It isn't though.'

'Strange isn't it? I'm sure you got one too,' Warren said, 'I can't help but feel our times running out.'

'Mine has,' Brendan murmured staring at the picture wondering who was on his list. He turned the picture over and leaned back on the pillows, 'y'need to get me outta here foxie.'

Warren frowned, 'your no use to me battered Brendan. Stay in hospital.'

'I can't deal with this crap well in here.'

Warren ignored Brendan, 'what is with this Byrne fella?'

Brendan sighed.

'Danny said something about him during one of our chats,' Warren continued, 'and now he's here. There are only so many of "these friends" I can taken Brendan.'

'He isn't mine foxie. He is an old friend of Danny's… he and I are… acquaintances. This is a warning,' he said motioning to his wounds.

'A warning for what?'

Brendan laughed darkly, 'for what's next… what is to come.'

Warren clenched his fists, 'you had to fucking off Danny didn't you?'

Brendan shrugged his shoulders, 'hormones.'

In one quick movement Warren was on Brendan holding him up by his hospital gown. His was contorted and red and his breathing became ragged against Brendan's face. 'All the people I care about have a target on their back. Theresa, your sister… and all you can fucking say is hormones?'

Brendan narrowed his eyes, 'don't act like you're some hero foxie,' he warned, 'it's too late now.'

Warren let go and they stared at each, neither knowing what to do. What could possibly be done? Warren's hands fell to his side. He thought about Theresa and how none of this had anything to do with her. Then to Cheryl where most of his guilt mounted.

'You can sit in that bloody bed for all I care. I am not gonna have some crooked Irish cop control me.' Warren didn't say another word and left slamming the door loudly.

It was a few minutes before the door creaked open again and Brendan looked up wearily. His spirits were lifted though, when he realized it was Stephen standing across from him.

'Why was Warren so upset? Are you ok?' He asked.

Brendan found himself speechless. It was hard to pretend bravado whilst lying in a hospital bed bruised and broken. He nodded his head and then quickly shook it. Before he could react though, Stephen was on him, hugging him as gently and tightly as he could.

Stephen shook as he held onto Brendan. He was waiting for the older man to shake him off or warn him that someone might see. To his relief, nothing happened.

'I was so worried… why do you have to do these things?'

Brendan chuckled.

Stephen pulled back, 'I'm serious Brendan.'

'They follow me Stephen. If I had the answers I'd tell yeah.'

'This has to do with Danny's body doesn't it?'

Brendan stiffened.

'If you were in trouble, I'd want you to tell me.' He placed a hand on Brendan's cheek and caressed the obvious stubble forming on his face, 'I don't want to lose you.'

Brendan leaned into Stephen's hand wanting to feel the soft skin and inhale his smell again. He closed his eyes trying to fight the euphoria. The life he knew that Stephen wanted was not possible. The two of them living together openly and happily was what dreams were made of. What they actually had could never be like that. He was a murderer and Stephen was damaged. His chest tightened and he knew if he opened his eyes Stephen would never look at him the same way.

'Talk to me Brendan,' Ste pleaded.

Brendan swallowed, 'why?'

'I want to help you.'

'What makes you think you could do anything to make this better?'

Ste sighed.

'This is so far above you Stephen.'

'It doesn't have to be.'

For a moment Brendan faltered. Brendan had no idea what Stephen did to make him feel the way he did. The way he relaxed whenever Stephen came to work. The way contentment felt possible even with Warren breathing down his neck. The way his heart rose in his chest when he kissed him. Brendan could not think at all of what to say.

Ste watched him think. That kind of torment he lived with, Ste could empathize with. He lived with it too. The anger Ste felt at Brendan delved not in his inability to talk openly about it, but to not deal with it at all. Brendan's face of violence, and temperament Ste knew had grown old quickly. He decided to change tact.

'Brendan? Does this Detective Byrne have anything to do with it?'

Brendan's eyes flashed.

'So he does. Should I be worried?'

'When I told you to stay away from Warren… that was just small compared to this guy.'

Ste smiled in satisfaction, 'that wasn't so hard.'

Brendan looked at him, 'what wasn't?'

'Warning me. Now, what did he do?'

Brendan chuckled, 'above you Stephen.'

'Tell me.'

'No.'

Stephen frowned. The last twenty-four hours tested his last nerves and he realized that unless Brendan could be honest with him, he wouldn't last.

'I don't need to know then,' Stephen agreed reluctantly.

'Good Stephen.' But as soon as he said the words he knew he'd made a mistake. The atmosphere shifted and Brendan realized Stephen didn't want his control anymore.

Stephen felt the room grow uncomfortably small. This revelation he had been toying with pulled at his heart. The one he had gone over to tell him the day before played out in his mind. The words like a drum beating steadier as the day wore on. Taking a deep breath, he knew it was time.

'I don't love you anymore.'

Brendan looked at him like he'd been shot.

'You need to know that. To know that I don't need your protection anymore.'

Brendan looked away from him and didn't say a word. Stephen wished he would. He was just as shocked that he had managed to say them.

'That's probably for the best,' Brendan said not making eye contact.

Stephen felt the blood boil in his chest. Yet, what did he honestly think would happen? Brendan would realize that life's too short? Tell him that he did love him and would make it work so that he could one day feel the same way? Didn't Brendan realize they could live off of that? Could grow? No. He would be content living this pathetic gangster life with nothing to show but a police record.

'Good. We're on the same page then,' Stephen walked to the door, and turned to look at him one last time, 'you know… and I've said this before, but we could've been happy you and I. Not just in Brighton or some place else, but here in Hollyoaks round' our friends and family. No one cares. No one but you- and the reason why Eileen left, Macca left, and anyone else you claim to care about is because you don't love yourself. Who wants to be around someone like that?'

Brendan clenched the bed sheets but remained as silent as ever.

'Don't be angry that I didn't try. But don't be angry with yourself either. We just didn't work,' and with that Stephen walked out from the room without another backward glance.

Ste needed to talk to someone and he found himself heading in the direction of LookSharpe. He saw Noah talking to Carmel through the large pane glass windows. His throat tightened unconsciously and his heart sped up. Ste didn't understand why he felt so nervous.

He saw Noah notice him and wave. Ste held up a hand but didn't move. Should he cross the threshold? Noah had been asking him out. Not as in dates but just friends who could talk.

And right now that is exactly what he needed.


	3. Chapter 3

I know there has been some unease concerning the future of Ste and Brendan. Sometimes even I wonder if it is possible regarding the circumstances that have led to the deterioration of their relationship. I must be a romantic then? Or perhaps too blinded to the toxicity of their relationship and how undesirable it would be to be in either of their shoes. I enjoy happy endings though, regardless, and I believe that in the words of Michael Scott that Ste and Brendan are one of those couples with a long story. The best love stories are plagued with trails and tribulations, and maybe one storyline Ste is involved with someone else and the next Brendan is. I have a feeling that it will be a long time coming for this couple, but when both of them work out their issues, it will be, like Michael Scott said "perfect".

Also I have a disclaimer: I do not condone Domestic Violence, or abuse in any forms. However like Hollyoaks I enjoy my flights of fancy and this story is one of them. Enjoy.

Chapter 3

Brendan watched as Anderson stepped into the room. Fine lines had etched themselves across his forehead and around his mouth over time. A deep grey colour had begun to highlight his normally dark brown hair and Brendan noticed a more polished tailoring to his clothes.

'Life treating you well?' Brendan asked, though not really caring for an answer.

Anderson shrugged pretending to smell one of the bouquets left by Cheryl. Brendan watched him pay a particular interest to the card that accompanied the peonies and then look away as if it had held no fascination at all.

'Can't say the same for you though,' he said finally and chuckled, 'concussion, broken ribs, it's as if someone wants you dead?'

'Yeah, that's is the drift I got.'

Anderson sat down in the empty chair by Brendan's bed. He leaned back and let his left foot rest atop his other knee. He cocked his head as he stared at Brendan with a bemused expression.

'It's been too long Brendan. I was hoping for a celebration of a reunification with you and Danny.'

'I wouldn't call it a celebration...'

'No? Going to the pub for some pints. Hitting up a club or two? Finding some ladies and then you off to shag Vinny. Like old times, except of course, Vinny is dead now.'

The breath hitched in his throat as Vinnys' name felt like bullets ripping into his heart. He knew this game that Anderson played. Brendan knew he couldn't react. But those memories, those images from the past rushed to the front of his mind. Suddenly he felt sick.

'I never really cared that you slept with blokes Brendan. Mostly it was entertaining watching you try to make us think otherwise. Entertaining, yes, and sort of pathetic really.'

Brendan looked away but he could feel Anderson staring at him with satisfaction. The room was only silent for a moment before he heard Anderson sigh and felt him lean in.

'I came to tell you that I arrested Warren this morning. Found Danny's credit card on him... Poor fellow looked like he had the wind knocked out of him. You know, with you in hospital and Warren incarcerated, it does not really bode well in this village.'

Brendan turned to him with blank eyes, 'what is that supposed to mean?'

Anderson smirked, 'my mistake. I meant to say simply "bode well" Brendan.'

Brendan leaned forwards glowering in an attempt to intimidate Anderson, 'did you send those pictures? And that note? What are you playing at Anderson?' The fury burned in his chest. But he knew he could be calm. Cheryl, Ste and Mitzee depended on it. Taking a deep breath Brendan found his footing and sneered, 'I did know you were the type to go after women and children. Can't play with big boys?'

Anderson however didn't take the bait and smiled with a careless air, 'Just a slip of the tongue mate.'

Brendan glared at him as he stood up, 'I'll be out of here soon.'

'Yes I'm sure you will be. Silly of me to get a head of myself like that,' he walked towards the door and cocked his head to the side, 'I shall not do it again,' he said in a tone that betrayed his mistake. 'Good day.'

Ste had fallen asleep on Noah's couch. When he woke he felt the soft cotton of a blanket that had been draped overtop of him. He hadn't remembered taking one and assumed it must have been Noah.

The light shone through the drapes and he could hear the kettle whistling atop the stove. Ste rubbed his eyes and sat up feeling incredibly drowsy. The clock told him he had slept past noon, which wasn't surprising considering he was up till three in the morning talking to Noah.

Ste could not remember ever talking to another man about his feelings. Brendan was always silent and secretive, and his stepfather abusive and manipulative, neither of which prepared him for emotional vulnerability. If the saying the 'weight lifted from your shoulders' was any description for last night, Ste didn't know what could be. For spoken word, and every unloaded feeling felt soothing upon his heart.

Noah listened. He had listened Ste remembered without saying a word. Ste had watched him closely, studied his gaze when he told him about Brendan. As the words tore at his heart making him feel nauseous and frightened, he felt Noah's hand upon his own squeezing it gently.

Ste never knew how to move on. He had been in love with Amy, and maybe even Rae, but Brendan was something entirely different. The first man he'd ever been with. The first person he had ever truly loved with all his heart, and also the first person to really break it.

Then there was Noah, a man entirely Brendan's opposite. Noah was the day to Brendan's night, the single catalyst of their love affair.

If Ste would want that.

Ste felt like he'd being lying to himself had he rejected the notion of Noah being anything more than a friend. Noah was kind, funny, and supportive. He was safe, stable, and open. For each thing that he was, Brendan was not, and ironically the only thing that Noah could never be, was Brendan. That reflection tugged at him painfully.

'Want some tea?'

Ste jumped. He hadn't even heard Noah approach. A cup was handed to him and Ste nodded in thanks. He sipped the tea carefully and it soothed his dry throat.

'Completely shattered from our talk,' Noah began, 'but feeling very good about it too.'

'You know all my secrets.'

Noah smiled, 'they don't have to be secrets anymore.'

Ste smiled in return. He hadn't been entirely truthful regarding Brendan. He had glossed over some of the abuse. It seemed low to betray Brendan while he lay in the hospital like that, even if on some level he deserved to bear the consequences.

'Do you have plans today?'

'Not really, the club is closed.'

'Fantastic. Let's grab a bite then. My treat.'

Ste nodded but felt like he was lacking the excitement that Noah reverberated. The last forty-eight hours had been filled with a whirlwind of emotions. He hadn't even told Noah about Anderson, or the pictures and the note. Ste didn't want to drag him into this tangled mess that Brendan had weaved for himself over time. There were enough potential victims in the mix already, and Noah would be the most innocent.

'I probably shouldn't.'

Noah's face fell.

'It's just… Amy is back with the kids in a few hours and I really need to talk to her... about stuff.'

Noah nodded, if not necessarily pleased, 'tell her I say hello. I really want to meet Lucas and Leah.'

'They'd love to meet you too, Amy as well.'

As they finished their tea Ste decided to keep the conversation light. He needed time to think about what to do next. It had been a small white lie with Amy and the kids. They wouldn't be back till Tuesday, which gave him another day and a half to figure out how to keep them safe. His stomach turned at the idea of having to leave Hollyoaks altogether in order to be out of harm's way, but desperate times call for desperate measures. The idea that people out there wanted him dead made his heart speed up to unimaginable levels.

'I'll call you soon,' Ste said as they walked to the door.

Noah leaned against the wall watching him closely.

'Thank you so much for listening.'

'Always will,' Noah said coming towards him and before Ste could react Noah had pulled him into a hug. Almost immediately Ste felt the urge to pull away, but maybe it was the lack of sleep, or the thought of impending doom, but he decided not to. Instead he leaned into the hug, wrapping his arms around Noah's waist and held onto him. Surprisingly, it felt right.

Pete had called an emergency meeting. Ste returned to Chez Chez for the first time since the assault against Brendan. The lights were dim inside as always and by the bar sat Mitzee, Cheryl, and to Ste's surprise Theresa on the stools.

Ste turned to Pete in confusion.

'Warren,' he replied simply.

Ste noticed Cheryl appeared much less emotional than yesterday but she also looked upon edge while Mitzee appeared outright frazzled. Ste had never seen her without loads of makeup or perfectly coiffed hair, but today it was in a messy bun and the only sign of makeup was the mascara on her eyelashes.

Pete seemed much calmer than he had been at the hospital. Unlike him, Mitzee, and Cheryl, he looked as though he had actually gotten some rest, that and a change of clothes.

'I showed Cheryl the note and pictures,' Pete told him.

'What did she say?'

'Nothing, really. I think she is in shock.'

Ste breathed heavily. Cheryl had no idea. No idea of anything that Brendan had gotten up to. 'Does she know why?'

Pete shook his head, 'Brendan needs to tell her. It isn't my place.'

'What is this meeting about then?'

'It is about how we are going to protect ourselves.'

Mitzee had opened a bottle of wine and poured herself and Cheryl a glass. Theresa had declined and remained silent ever since. Ste stood beside her offering her his own silent support.

'What do we do?' Mitzee asked taking a large gulp, 'should I book a plane ticket out of here now? Or do I have some time?'

Pete chuckled darkly, 'the humour is much needed Mitzee.'

'I don't see anything funny about this,' Cheryl said, 'we have targets on our backs.'

'You need to keep a level head Cheryl. This isn't necessarily a promise. This threat was made against Brendan and Warren. Not you,' Pete explained, despite not seeming to believe his own words.

'Not against us?' Theresa said standing up from the stool, 'that note "revenge is a six letter word" it means murder. We are going to be killed.'

Ste agreed.

'It wasn't meant for your eyes.'

'Then what is the point of this meeting? Why would Warren insist that I talk to you?' She asked beginning to cry, 'I don't want to die.'

'Oh sweetie,' Cheryl said wrapping her arms around Theresa's shoulders and hugged her, 'we'll figure something out.'

'What do we know about Anderson?' Ste asked.

Cheryl looked at him, 'Anderson? He is the detective Ste…'

'We can't be naïve Cheryl,' Pete interjected, 'he and Danny used to be close. He might think Brendan had something to do with his death.'

'But Warren was taken into questioning,' Mitzee said looking between Cheryl and Pete hopefully, 'he should be cleared of any suspicion!'

'Being called in for questioning is not being indicted,' Pete finished.

'Then what do we do?' Cheryl asked.

'We cater to the enemy.'

Ste could feel everyone's eyes on Pete in shock.

'What?' Mitzee cried choking on her wine.

'We act like nothing is wrong. We get close to Anderson and we push Brendan and Warren far away.'

'I can't do that,' Cheryl said sounding lost, 'he is my brother. This is when he needs me most.'

Pete frowned, 'Anderson needs to know that any relationship with Brendan or Warren has deteriorated.'

Ste shook his head. He couldn't stop picturing Brendan in the hospital alone and feeling unwanted. The last conversation he had with Brendan seemed so foreign to him now_. I don't love you anymore_… the words came as a complete surprise and yet an air of liberation for him as well.

'I don't think I can do this,' Cheryl said leaning against the counter in defeat, 'he was just attacked…'

Pete sighed while Theresa unlinked herself from Cheryl appearing much more together than before, 'I shouldn't be a threat any longer. I'll simply be with Ethan then.'

Mitzee looked uneasy, Ste knew she was collateral in this mess. He could tell she wanted to say that she meant nothing to Brendan or Warren as well. She was his fraud girlfriend. He felt sorry for her. But honesty was too late now. For all of them, it was simply too late.

Noah locked up LookSharpe and placed the key in his pocket. He had picked up a shift after realizing he would have nothing better to do when Ste went home. However, he couldn't stop thinking over his and Ste's conversation earlier.

'_Brendan? Really?'_

_Ste nodded his head, his face flushed._

'_I never would have thought.'_

'_I don't think anyone did. But he and I… we were… in some sort of relationship.'_

'_Did you love him?'_

'_I did. But I never found out whether he loved me back.'_

Noah shook his head. How could Brendan not love him? He was gorgeous, funny, and so open that it was disarming at times and yet somehow, Brendan let him go. He wondered how Brendan could lay in a hospital bed on the brink of death and not reconsider how he lived his life?

As Noah set off for home he found the village to be eerily quiet. It had been that way since Brendan's attack, and the murder of that girl India, and Brendan's friend Danny. Something dark appeared to be boding and Noah mused with the idea that he should move back home to the safety of his family and old friends.

'Noah.'

Noah's heart stopped. He turned his head slowly and to his masked horror stood Anderson smoking a cigarette against the wall Chez Chez.

'Such a small world innut?' He said in his usual smarmy voice, 'I should move here shouldn't I? I already have a lovely group of friends waiting.'

'I didn't know you were coming here?'

'I had to. Circumstances demanded it. Are you doing what I told you to do?'

Noah nodded.

'Good. Keep doing it. Make him fall in love with you. Make sure he stays away from Brendan.'

'You didn't have something to do with his attack did you?'

'Noah, Noah, of course not… don't be silly,' Anderson walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. 'You are the safe bet. Don't get involved with this. Protect Stephen.'

Noah eyed him with growing suspicion. He never understood Anderson, yet he had known him since childhood. Anderson, his brothers' best friend till his death, had always appeared larger than life. The football hero, the boy every girl desired, and every gay boy fanaticised would begin to bat for their team. However as childhood innocence died along with his brother, Noah found it harder and harder to make excuses for Anderson's shady behaviour. Then out of nowhere he left for Liverpool and Noah breathed a sigh of relief that that was the last time he'd ever have to see him. However, that phone call four months ago had proved otherwise.

'Why did you want me to get close to Ste?'

'Like I said: safe bet.'

'Don't hurt him.'

Anderson laughed, 'are you actually falling for him?'

'Isn't that what you wanted me to do?' Noah retorted not betraying his feelings. Anderson's threat imbedded into his mind.

'Yes. And keep doing it. I don't want any harm coming your way. A storm is brewing here Noah. A horrible, horrible storm.'


	4. Chapter 4

"I can't go for a drink tonight Noah," Ste said into his mobile as he walked to work. Noah had been calling him on and off since the morning and Ste couldn't quite figure out why.

"Why not?"

"I work late, and… I'll be knackered."

"Alright. Have a good night. If you need me, give me a ring." He replied sounding frightened.

"Are you alright Noah?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine… Just be safe."

Ste nodded his head, though Noah couldn't see him, "I will, thanks."

Brendan opened his eyes and found Pete staring at him intently. Brendan felt only slightly surprised by Pete's visit today. Even though he hadn't talked to his old friend for weeks now, it didn't mean that he didn't have an idea of why he was here.

"How are ye' feeling?"

Brendan shrugged his shoulders, "like crap. But I'm ready to leave."

Pete nodded his head and frowned, "they're all in trouble you know. Cheryl… Mitzee… Ste. We're trying to figure out a plan but no one can agree to stay away from ya."

Brendan chuckled darkly. Even after all his crap Stephen still couldn't walk away. What had he made Stephen into? Despite their conversation, which felt like a punch to his stomach, Stephen still cared for him. But Brendan knew he was bad news for the boy and feared that he always will be.

"So what are ya going to do?"

"I am going to sneak you out of this hospital room and you're going to go into hiding."

Brendan scoffed, "ya serious?"

Pete nodded.

"You and what wheels?"

"You can joke all you want, but they're sitting ducks out there Brendan."

"Anderson is after me," Brendan reiterated suddenly feeling uneasy. "How is me leaving the village going to put them out of danger? Huh? He'll just get more angry."

"I though about that. But your greatest weakness is our greatest strength. You're selfish Brendan. Anderson knows this, you'll leave in a heartbeat in order to make sure no harm comes towards you."

Brendan looked down to his lap in shame. He knew exactly what Pete was getting at.

"A part of me wants to leave you to deal with this shit, but the other part doesn't want you to go down for a crime you didn't commit."

Brendan couldn't look back up at Pete. This would all be over if he told the truth. But then he'd lose Stephen for good, and he couldn't do that. Brendan clenched his fists in frustration. He had brought this on the people he loved, and now he was using them once again to bail him out. Yet, he didn't know if he could stop them. He inhaled deeply, suddenly gasping for air.

"Are you alright Brendan?"

Brendan nodded. He pushed away the thoughts and looked at Pete. "How am I supposed to leave? Coppers are always outside my door?"

"I know," Pete replied, annoyed, "We're figuring out the linguistics but Warren was released because Ethan has no concrete evidence so…" Pete smiled darkly and Brendan wondered whether he might have tampered with evidence, "tonight Brendan. Be ready."

While Cheryl counted the tills, Ste wiped off the counters and polished wine glasses in absolute silence. There had been an eerie silence within Chez Chez all night. Fear had been eating away at Ste all night. He didn't know whether it was because Pete and Warren were breaking Brendan out of the hospital, or the fact that someone may attack them at any second.

Ste watched in mild interest as Rhys climbed up the stairwell from the cellar carrying a crate of beer. All night he could feel Rhys staring in confusion at Cheryl and him. Yet what explanation could he give?

Rhys set the crate down on the counter beside the polished wine glasses. He turned to Ste and then motioned to Cheryl with his head. "Is she alright?"

"Brendan. She's worried about him."

"Yeah… no kidding…" Rhys nodded. Humming to himself he began to unload the beer onto the counter. Ste helped him by taking the beer and placing it down in the fridge. He once again felt Rhys's eyes bore into the back of his head.

"Ste?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

Ste turned around and faced the other barman. He noticed that Rhys suddenly looked very uncomfortable. Ste felt panicked. Does Rhys know? Does he know about Brendan getting bailed out?

"There's probably a proper way to say this but… are you gay?"

Ste sighed in relief but felt his cheeks grow red.

Rhys put his hands up looking flustered, "no big deal," he said quickly, "but you're my mate. Just want to know."

Ste laughed softly, "Yeah I am. But no one really knows…"

"I get it."

"Thanks."

Cheryl walked up to them fixing her belt on her dress. She stared at the crates and then around Chez Chez despondently. "Do you boys want to finish up? I think I am gonna go home now," she said in a low voice.

"No problem," Rhys replied throwing his arm around Ste, "We'll finish everything up."

"Thanks boys," she smiled. Grabbing her coat off the barstool she headed towards the office. Ste followed.

"Should you be walking by yourself?" Ste asked.

"I called a cab. Right to the door, I promise."

"I know this is hard for you Cheryl. But we have to act normal. We have to act as if this is something that Brendan would do."

"I don't have to act Ste. This is what Brendan does. I've learned this many times."

Ste felt stunned, "Cheryl don't say that it isn't…"

Cheryl laughed, a hollow unnerving laugh, "oh Ste you don't know him that way I do." She grabbed her purse and left towards the stairs, "have a good night Ste. You be careful too."

Ste watched in silence as she left down the stairs. Rhys came up beside him, and cocked his head to the side. "I swear something is going around the village," he said, "Jacqui is acting the same way."

That night Brendan waited in his dark quiet hospital room feeling as though he may break down at any moment. He hadn't felt this nervous since Rae had discovered him while having sex with Ste in Chez Chez's office. But that other reason was nagging him as well, no matter how hard he tried to suppress it.

Pete had explained that he would be taken to a bed and breakfast in the next town for a few days before returning to Hollyoaks to live with Pete. Apparently everyone else thought he would leave the country entirely but Brendan couldn't handle that. He couldn't handle being that selfish.

Loud rustling sounded through the door and silently, Brendan attempted to listen through the door. He could hear voices talking on the other side, yet he had no idea whether it was Pete, Warren or the officer guarding his door, or if it was somebody else… like Anderson.

Brendan felt thankful Pete had returned later in the afternoon with a change of clothes. He knew he didn't deserve this sort of kindness and being in a hospital gown made him feel vulnerable, so he felt incredibly grateful.

As he ran a hand through his hair, he felt the bandages and grimaced. If it wasn't a hospital gown then it was the bandages wrapped around his head. Constant reminders of his attack, reminders of what he had lost and would eventually lose.

The door creaked open and Brendan straightened to a sitting position. A figure stepped inside that Brendan didn't immediately recognize. He put his hand between the bed and the side table reaching for one of the crutches, ready to use it as a weapon when the silhouette suddenly became clear. Brendan stared incredulously, it was… Doug?

"What the…?

Doug was dressed in a black dress suit and a brown wool trench coat shuffling nervously, "hello Brendan," he greeted in a faux British accent. "Detective Ethan Scott."

Brendan raised a bemused eyebrow but didn't say a word. Actions first, questions later.

"Bringing you down to the station now…" He cracked.

"If you say so Detective Scott…"

Brendan lifted himself off the bed and felt lightheaded. Doug offered his support by bringing a hand underneath his elbow drawing him to a complete stand. Brendan closed his eyes to regain his composure. he wasn't sure whether it was his nerves or his concussion but he suddenly broke out into a cold sweat.

"Are you sure you can do this?" Doug whispered.

Brendan nodded. Using the sleeve of his jacket he wiped away the sweat forming on his forehead. All he needed was to get to Warren's car and everything would be fine. Settling into his crutches, Brendan and Doug walked towards the door where the night police officer still stood guard.

"I still find it strange Detective Scott…" the Officer began, "he doesn't look so good."

Brendan saw his reflection in the window and was taken aback by how white he looked. He could sense Doug's apprehension behind him. "I'm fine," he nodded. It was just the pain Brendan thought… just the pain.

"My orders," Doug restated, "that body in the river is a homicide and we need to get the case underway. Brendan Brady is a suspect. We'll have him back in a few hours."

The cop nodded his head but appeared unconvinced still. As Doug helped Brendan down the hallway towards the hospitals exit, he could feel the boy shaking. With each set of footsteps heard that were not their own Doug stopped, tensing up. For the first time Brendan actually felt sorry for him.

A loud bustling came from down the opposite hallway. Doug suddenly appeared as pale as Brendan and he believed that their plan might not have worked.

"We've been caught Brendan," Doug cried.

"Calm down," Brendan scolded and a sense of relief flowed through him as Warren appeared before them with a wheel chair.

"What are you doing here?" Doug hissed.

"We don't have a lot of time," Warren snapped practically shoving Brendan onto the seat. "Anderson is paying another cheery visit tonight."

"What?" Brendan asked.

Warren looked grim. "Mitzee overheard him on the phone in Relish, and apparently we have a spy in our midst."

"What?" Doug gasped looking like he may pass out.

The three of them quickly set off for the exit. Brendan knew they were making a spectacle of themselves. Nurses and wards stared at them in horror and disapproval as they raced down the hallway. Brendan knew that Anderson would find out soon enough, he just hoped there was enough time before that happened. As they reached Warren's car, Doug and Warren threw Brendan into the backseat before they clambered into the front. Brendan groaned.

"Duck down," Warren ordered as he peeled out of the parking lot.

Lights flashed in through the windows from the outside. The sight was beginning to make Brendan nauseous.

"FUCK!" Warren swerved sharply and Brendan felt himself being thrown into the side of the door.

"What the fuck foxie?"

"Get out," Warren said.

Brendan didn't question him and tried opening the door. He heard another door open and then close, suddenly his door opened and he fell into Doug's arms.

"We have to walk," Doug said his voice shaking. "Come on Brendan. Just a few more steps."

Sirens flooded the air around them and Brendan could hear Doug breathing heavily as he lugged him across the grass and onto the cement. Someone began to shout loudly and Doug pushed him to the ground. Brendan closed his eyes and found that he could no longer open them. Everything became quiet.

"That should do it," Rhys said polishing the last wine glass and placing it on the shelf. It had only been a few hours since Cheryl left and closing the club without her appeared a lot harder, and longer than either of them had thought.

Ste stretched out his arms in satisfaction, "such a long night."

"Yeah."

"I need to…" Ste's phone suddenly began to vibrate in his pocket, his heart lifted. However when he looked down at the screen his heart became replaced with disappointment. It was only Amy. He placed it back in his pocket, "I bet I forgot to turn off the lights again."

"She calling to rag on ya?" Rhys laughed.

"Most likely. I'll see her soon anyway."

"You go and I'll lock up," Rhys offered, "you've been here all day."

"Thanks mate."

Ste left Chez Chez feeling much more optimistic than he had before. The night air was crisp and fresh helping him clear his head from what was happening at this very moment. Brendan would probably be somewhere far away from Hollyoaks, safe, Ste's heart ached, and maybe never to seen again. Poor Brendan, having to leave everyone he loves because he is being persecuted for a crime he did not commit. Ste wondered who the culprit really was? He assumed it would be Warren, and yet Warren got to stay in the village. Ste felt it wasn't fair.

Wiping at his eyes Ste checked his phone in case there was any news. The screen displayed Amy's name with ten missed calls. A chill ran through his spine. Had something happened? Were the kids all right? As he went to ring back he heard a shuffle behind him. Ste turned around to see Anderson coming towards him with an unreadable expression.

"Hello Stephen. How are you?"

"I'm good. You?" Ste replied. He could hear his heart beating rapidly in his chest. Something must have gone wrong.

"Did you hear about what happened at the hospital?" Anderson asked. He cocked his head to the side in a casual manner. Ste felt as though he had just been asked about the weather.

Ste shook his head.

"It's terrible really. An unfortunate incident." He said and suddenly Ste could hear a siren in the distant.

"An unfortunate incident?"

"I have police everywhere tonight, looking for a body. You must know who I am talking about…"

Ste's mouth had gone dry. So many conclusions were racing through his dead and the one theme was that Brendan was dead.

"I have only so much patience for this matter," he began suddenly glowering, "and I'll be watching you Stephen. I don't take kindly to these things."

With that he turned around and walked away leaving Ste stunned. His legs felt as though they may turn to jelly and he leaned against a fence nearby. What "unfortunate incident?" What happened? Taking a deep breath he pulled himself up. He pressed the talk button and each ring that passed by seemed like an eternity rather than seconds.

"Hello?" Amy answered, her voice as breathless as his.

"Amy?"

"Ste! You need to get back! I need you here!"

"Okay, okay. I'll be there soon. Don't let anyone in. Keep the door locked-

"It's too late," Amy interrupted, "he's here Ste. It's too late."


End file.
